Feeling tired and depressed tonight. I helped pick currents this evening and after just a little while was in so much pain in my back that I had to stop and go back in the house. How can I hope to ever maybe find a husband if I can't even pick currents? Anyway, it doesn't matter. It's too late.
For the most part I do okay; God has bessed me much: I have plenty to eat, a nice place to sleep, pets. I live in a relatively safe town/community, and have seen many amazing things. I can get involved in making this community a better place, and there are people who care about me. I have no reason to complain, nor right to do so.
I don't understand about the pain in my life, both physical and mental/emotional. I know where some of the pain comes from, but no matter how hard I try I can't leave it behind. It's always there, just under the surface, and no amount positive thinking or prayer or whatever drives it away very far. All in all my life is pretty good though...
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